Smart Parrot

A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely. For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. A few days later, he called.

"Ma, what do you think of the bird?" "The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer." "You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!" "Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"

Owl is Talking

Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he’d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.

The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversations.”

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Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication.

His wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour.

“My husband spends his nights calling to owls,” she said. “That`s odd,” the neighbour replied. “So does my husband.”

Three Mice

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this crap. I gotta go home and screw the cat."